Book Review – Bubbles For David

[Bubbles For David, Judy Bruns, 2023 by Cocoa Publications, Ohio]

 

 

 

 

Bubbles For David

From the back cover:

“Bubbles for David got its start as the author and her granddaughter blew bubbles high into the sky from the front porch, and Emma curiously asked, “Grandma, can bubbles fly all the way up to heaven?” But the story’s plot evolved later, built around relatives and close friends who had lost children in early infancy or by miscarriage.
“Bubbles for David is a story of understanding, encouragement, and Christian hope for families like these. It speaks to the hearts of the young siblings, whose lives have been touched, too.” 

From the author:

“Bubbles for David is a children’s book of understanding and Christian hope for families who have felt the loss of a baby. It speaks to the young siblings, whose hearts have been touched, too.”

Pregnancy loss affects the entire family – mother, father, grandparents, siblings, and more. Sometimes, in dealing with our own pain, it can be difficult to remember that others are hurting as well. They, too, need to be able to talk about their loss, their grief, their pain, in a supportive environment. This book is a good reminder of the need for siblings to grieve the loss of an anticipated brother or sister that went to Heaven.

“… how did he get up there?”

We can often have many questions surrounding child loss. Sometimes, we are given answers in this lifetime. [I was blessed to see the answer to the question quoted from this book, which I share in my book When Unborn Babies Speak.] Many times, we might not.

Why am I interested in this book? One reason is because of another quote closer to the end of the book that was nearly identical to something I had written. A quote that expresses hope and offers healing. [A quote from When Unborn Babies Speak]

This book is a tenderly illustrated, hope-filled, beautiful, inspiring story offering validating comfort for readers young and old, who, like me, also have miscarried, stillborn, or infant-loss babies in Heaven.

If there are children (siblings, nieces, nephews, etc.) who know about your pregnancy loss, consider blessing them with this book.

 

 

Book Review – Presence Seeker’s Guide to Inner Healing

[Presence Seeker’s Guide to Inner Healing, Jamie Rohrbaugh, 2018 by Jamie Rohrbaugh, FromHisPresence.com]

 

 

 

 

 

Some may wonder why I would review a book like this on a pregnancy loss website. Well, generally speaking, we all need healing from something or another from time to time. More specifically, when it comes to pregnancy loss, a lot of emotions may become stirred up and a lot of hurts may surface which need to be dealt with.

Prayerfully consider whether you are ready to work on your inner healing. Then consider how much of it you can do without the help of other people. And consider whom you may call upon to help you through the more difficult parts. There is NO shame in seeking help and getting it.

This guide covers several elements of inner healing. It was meant to be used with additional resources, like a seminar or trainings, but it has several lists, prayers, and teachings.

One of those helpful prayers is on forgiveness. All of us have been offended at some point, and all of us have offended others at some point, so all of us need forgiveness.

I have personalized a couple sample forgiveness prayers compiled from pages 3, 38, 39, and elsewhere in this book and From His Presence resources below, without using quotations or separators. This first one deals with forgiving oneself.

Heavenly Father, in Jesus’ name, I choose to forgive myself,                     , (insert your name) for having an abortion or miscarriage (as applicable). I choose to leave it, let it go, and give up all resentment. I lay this burden right now at Your feet, Heavenly Father, and by Your grace and mercy, I choose to not pick it back up anymore.

Father, in Jesus’ name, I confess that I have not loved myself like I should have. Instead, I have harbored bitterness, unforgiveness, hatred, anger, resentment, and even a spirit of murder toward myself.  Lord, I confess these things as sin. Please forgive ME for my sin. Cover me with the blood of Jesus. Wash me clean. Give me a new heart–Your heart, and a new spirit–Your Spirit. Fill me with the Holy Spirit, and make me like You in all things.

And now, Father, I pray for myself. Forgive me for all these things. Cover me with the blood of Jesus. Wash me. Cleanse me. Make me pure and holy. Fill me with the Holy Spirit, and draw me closer to Yourself. Bless me, Father. In Jesus’ name, amen.

This second one deals with forgiving others.

Heavenly Father, in Jesus’ name, I choose to forgive (insert their name) for _ (insert what they did or did not do specifically)____. I choose to leave it, let it go, and give up all resentment. I lay this burden right now at Your feet, Heavenly Father, and by Your grace and mercy, I choose to not pick it back up anymore.
Father, in Jesus’ name, I confess that I have not loved _______ (insert their name) like I should have. Instead, I have harbored bitterness, unforgiveness, hatred, anger, resentment, and even a spirit of murder toward ______ (insert their name). Lord, I confess these things as sin. Please forgive ME for my sin. Cover me with the blood of Jesus. Wash me clean. Give me a new heart–Your heart, and a new spirit–Your Spirit. Fill me with the Holy Spirit, and make me like You in all things.
And now, Father, I pray for _____(insert their name). Forgive (them) for all these things. Cover (them) with the blood of Jesus. Wash (them). Cleanse (them). Make (them) pure and holy. Fill (them) with the Holy Spirit, and draw (them) closer to Yourself. Bless (them), Father. In Jesus’ name, amen.

If you find such prayers useful in your pregnancy loss journey, you may also find some of the other materials in this book useful for inner healing in other areas of your life. Soul ties, father wounds, and mother wounds are also areas that can sometimes affect our inner healing and recovery from pregnancy loss. These are also mentioned in this book, as well as From His Presence materials.

 

 

Book Review – Horton Hears a Who

[ Horton Hears a Who, Dr. Seuss, 1982 by Random House, New York]

 

 

 

 

Horton Hears a Who

While many consider this to be a children’s book, I feel it may be a worthwhile purchase. Here are some quotes I found validating, and life-affirming. My apologies for not noting the page numbers for these.

“. . . some poor little person who’s shaking with fear
That he’ll blow in the pool! He has no way to steer!
I’ll just have to save him. Because, after all,
A person’s a person, no matter how small.”

.…
“Believe me,” said Horton. “I tell you sincerely,
My ears are quite keen and I heard him quite clearly.
I know there’s a person down there.
….
“I can’t let my very small persons get drowned!
I’ve got to protect them. I’m bigger than they.”
So he plucked up the clover and hustled away.
….

“Should I put this speck down? . . .” Horton thought with alarm.
“If I do, these small persons may come to great harm.
I can’t put it down. And I won’t! After all
A person’s a person. No matter how small.”

….
And begged, “Please don’t harm all my little folks, who
Have as much right to live as us bigger folks do!”
….

To the Mayor: “Don’t give up! I believe in you all!
A person’s a person, no matter how small!
And you very small persons will not have to die
If you make yourselves heard! So come on, now, and TRY!”

….

And that Yopp . . .
That one small, extra Yopp put it over!
Finally, at last! From that speck on that clover
Their voices were heard! They rang out clear and clean.
And the elephant smiled. “Do you see what I mean? . . .
They’ve proved they ARE persons, no matter how small.
And their whole world was saved by the Smallest of All!”

Why am I interested in this book? Because, like Horton, I had heard my Who. [To quote from When Unborn Babies Speak:]

“I had a firsthand—granted, rare—experience with just how fearfully and wonderfully we are made…just how very much human—very much like us postborns—these precious pre-borns are, at very early stages.
It’s not just that our babies had human bodies like we do. It’s not just that our babies had human DNA from their point of conception like we do. . . . It’s more than that. My experiences clearly demonstrate that our babies have souls. [Read Isaac’s Personhood Story.] After all, I experienced and now [testify] . . . that from an extremely early gestational age, post-conceived children:
have preferences,
can see what is around them,
have intellect and ideas,
have emotions and temperaments,
can forgive,
have a will to live, [and] feel the pain of death.”

Yet, as difficult as it is for me to risk saying I interacted with my son and even heard him speak, I do so to honor the life God gave me and the lives He gives to all families. Like the quote above, ““Believe me,” said Horton. “I tell you sincerely,
My ears are quite keen and I heard him quite clearly. I know there’s a person down there.””

What might we, as the pregnancy loss community, do to help the pro-life community?

We can beg, like Horton, ““Please don’t harm all my little folks, who
Have as much right to live as us bigger folks do!””
We can encourage, like Horton, that the memory of our ““very small persons will not have to die
If you make yourselves heard! So come on, now, and TRY!””
We can educate that, “after all,
A person’s a person, no matter how small.””
And we can persist, until “Finally, at last! . . .
Their voices [are] . . . heard! . . .
[And we’ve] . . . proved they ARE persons, no matter how small.
And [our] . . . whole world [of personhood, parenthood, family, and faith is] . . . saved by the Smallest of All!””

 

Links – Other Side Of Grief

 

 

 

 

 

If you have purchased a hard copy of my second book, Other Side of Grief, you may have noticed several links throughout the book.  Instead of having to try to type the links into your browser yourself, here is a list of (most of) the links contained in the book.  The links were active/valid when first accessed in 2020 or earlier, but may have changed since then.

Links – Other Side Of Grief

Miscarriage Moms For Life  https://miscarriagemomsforlife.com/               miscarriagemomsforlife@gmail.com

The Lockman Foundation  www.Lockman.org

Rachel’s Vineyard  https://www.rachelsvineyard.org/

Project Rachel   https://hopeafterabortion.com/

Tikvat Rachel   https://jewishprolifefoundation.org/after-abortion

Celebrate Recovery https://www.celebraterecovery.com/

Finding Hope and Healing After Pregnancy Loss – Pam Vredevelt  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D8ZKppirwBU

Age at birth https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/East_Asian_age_reckoning

Taegyo https://ichcourier.unesco-ichcap.org/article/taegyo-korean-prenatal-education-culture-and-its-sustainable-value/

Singing in the womb http://www.halakhah.com/sotah/sotah_31.html

John leaping foreshadowed  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beshalach

Targum, translated by Edward M. Cook http://targum.info/pss/ps2.htm, Psalm 68:27, http://targum.info/targumic-texts/targum-psalms/

John Gill’s commentary  https://www.biblestudytools.com/commentaries/gills-exposition-of-the-bible/

Microchimerism  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Microchimerism

Grief Journey Consultants  https://www.newswise.com/articles/importance-of-the-funeral-service-why-everyone-deserves-a-funeral

Center For Loss  https://www.centerforloss.com/2016/12/funeral-ritual-important/

Desecrating human remains  https://law.justia.com/codes/new-jersey/2013/title-2c/section-2c-22-1/

A Few Burial Ritualshttps://www.funeralwise.com/

https://classroom.synonym.com/greek-mythology-burying-dead-15721.html

https://www.culturalsurvival.org/publications/cultural-survival-quarterly/native-burials-human-rights-and-sacred-bones

Stephen Ministries  https://www.stephenministries.org/griefresources/default.cfm/768

I have a sister  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zaK5ENCJnSk

 GriefShare https://www.griefshare.org/

Miscarriage and pro-life  http://thelewisnote.com/why-miscarriage-matters-when-youre-pro-life/  

Salvation outline  https://pastorkennedy.com/On_Being_a_Christian/A_Simple_Explanation_of_Salvation.html

Hearing God  https://www.cwgministries.org/store/hear-gods-voice-guaranteed-package

From His Presence  https://www.fromhispresence.com/

Link between adopted children and bio-Mothers  http://nancyverrier.com/the-primal-wound/

Grief Recovery Method  https://www.griefrecoverymethod.com/books/grief-recovery-handbook

Soul-Searching  https://www.cwgministries.org/store/hear-gods-voice-guaranteed-package

Google Rock Painting tips, such as  https://www.rockpaintingguide.com/rock-painting-faq/

“I Want You Here”  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWww880E9wU

 “I Will Carry You”  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxZhEcTzn6Q

 “I Can Only Imagine” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DU0MwNpRq6M&list=PLLeEFYsUcFsMGuAA8l7YspBozHIDUlZfp&index=6&t=0s

Memorial Songs  https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLLeEFYsUcFsMGuAA8l7YspBozHIDUlZfp

Memorial Ideas   https://www.amazon.com/What-Was-Lost-Christian-Miscarriage/dp/0664235204  and www.christiancentury.org

Caskets and More  https://www.candmaugusta.com/

 

AKJV, Creationism  http://creationism.org/BibleAKJV/index.htm

AKJV Study Bible  https://studybible.info/AKJV

AMP, The Amplified Bible, The Lockman Foundation  www.Lockman.org

ASV, Bible Gateway  https://www.biblegateway.com/versions/American-Standard-Version-ASV-Bible/ 

ASV, Bible Study Tools  https://www.biblestudytools.com/asv/

BSB, Berean Study Bible  https://bereanbible.com/

DT, Darby Translation  https://classic.biblegateway.com/versions/Darby-Translation-Bible/

KJV, King James Version  https://classic.biblegateway.com/versions/King-James-Version-KJV-Bible/

KJV, God Rules, http://www.godrules.net/library/kjvstrongs/kjvstrongs.htm

LEX, Lexicon https://biblehub.com/

NASB, New American Standard Bible, The Lockman Foundation  www.Lockman.org

NHEB, New Heart English Bible  https://nheb.net/files/NHEB.txt

NHEB, Study Bible, https://studybible.info/NHEB

WB, Webster’s Bible  http://bibledatabase.com/exec/online/webster/index.htm

WEB, World English Bible™  https://classic.biblegateway.com/versions/World-English-Bible-WEB/#booklist

YLT, Young’s Literal Translation  https://classic.biblegateway.com/versions/Youngs-Literal-Translation-YLT-Bible/#booklist

 

BARRETT, Elise Erikson, What Was Lost, 2010; and GAGE-Finn, Meghan, sermon excerpt, Columbia, SC, 2003.  

https://www.amazon.com/What-Was-Lost-Christian-Miscarriage/dp/0664235204

GILL, John Gill’s Exposition of the Old and New Testaments  https://www.biblestudytools.com/commentaries/gills-exposition-of-the-bible/

GRIEFSHARE, “Surviving the Holidays,” https://www.griefshare.org/ and https://surviving.griefshare.org/

HAUGK, Kenneth C., “Finding Hope and Healing,” Journeying through Grief, Stephen Ministries, 2004.  https://www.stephenministries.org/griefresources/default.cfm/768

JAMES, John W. and Russell Friedman, The Grief Recovery Handbook, 2009. https://www.griefrecoverymethod.com/books/grief-recovery-handbook

KENDRICK Brothers, Facing the Giants, Provident Films, 2006. https://www.kendrickbrotherscatalogue.com/facingthegiants/

 

MATTHEWS, Tiffany, When Unborn Babies Speak, 2019.  Designating Miscarriage Moms For Life as your smile.amazon charity is greatly appreciated. https://smile.amazon.com/dp/1733070001/

 

ROHRBAUGH, Jamie, The Presence Seeker’s Guide to Inner Healing, 2018. https://www.fromhispresence.com/start-here/

TARGUM, as translated by Edward M. Cook, 2001.  http://targum.info/targumic-texts/targum-psalms/

TUCKER, Karen B. Westerfield, “A Pastoral Response to a Silent Tragedy,” 1989.  www.christiancentury.org

VERRIER, Nancy Newton, The Primal Wound, 2003. http://nancyverrier.com/the-primal-wound/

 

Links – When Unborn Babies Speak

 

 

 

 

 

If you have purchased a hard copy of my first book, When Unborn Babies Speak, you may have noticed several links throughout the book.  Instead of having to try to type the links into your browser yourself, here is a list of (most of) the links contained in the book.  The links were active/valid when first accessed in 2019 or earlier, but may have changed since then.

Links – When Unborn Babies Speak

Miscarriage Moms For Life https://miscarriagemomsforlife.com/               miscarriagemomsforlife@gmail.com

Photo in Book Review-A Child Is Born https://miscarriagemomsforlife.com/book-review-a-child-is-born/

Photo in Isaac’s Personhood Story  https://miscarriagemomsforlife.com/isaacs-personhood-story/

Statistics, 2015, 85.7% not married https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/67/ss/ss6713a1.htm

Photo in Book Review-A Child Is Born https://miscarriagemomsforlife.com/book-review-a-child-is-born/

Development https://embryology.med.unsw.edu.au/embryology/index.php/Timeline_human_development

Singing in the womb http://www.halakhah.com/sotah/sotah_31.html

Singing in the womb https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beshalach

Psalm 68:27 Hebrew https://www.mechon-mamre.org/p/pt/pt2668.htm#27

Surgical Treatments and Protected Persons https://miscarriagemomsforlife.com/article-review-we-treat-babies-before-theyre-born-so-why-arent-they-protected-persons/

Answering Pain Deniers https://miscarriagemomsforlife.com/article-review-answering-the-pain-deniers/

A Child Is Born https://miscarriagemomsforlife.com/book-review-a-child-is-born/

First Ache https://miscarriagemomsforlife.com/article-review-the-first-ache/

Pain by 8 weeks https://www.liveaction.org/news/research-now-shows-reborn-babies-feel-pain-very-early-by-8-weeks/

Embryos and Fetuses https://transparent-human-embryo.com/ for more scientific research findings

Viewer discretion strongly advised.  Baby’s demeanor changed. https://videopress.com/v/nkbq2c0P; or https://cultureshiftforlife.com/2017/03/15/raw-footage-of-baby-killed-by-abortion/

Miscarriages https://www.merckmanuals.com/professional/gynecology-and-obstetrics/abnormalities-of-pregnancy/spontaneous-abortion; https://patient.info/health/miscarriage-and-bleeding-in-early-pregnancy; https://patient.info/doctor/miscarriage-pro; https://www.knowyourdoctor.com.cy/component/content/article?id=2133:miscarriage; https://www.nursingtimes.net/download?ac=1257288  [Hyperlink does not work, but this appears to be the right source.] [Possibly this one, but requires subscription:  https://www.nursingtimes.net/roles/midwives-and-neonatal-nurses/miscarriage-and-ectopic-pregnancy-1-an-overview/1436933.article?search=https%3a%2f%2fwww.nursingtimes.net%2fsearcharticles%3fqsearch%3d1%26keywords%3dfew+external+signs+of+pregnancy]

Vanishing twins https://americanpregnancy.org/multiples/vanishing-twin-syndrome/; https://academic.oup.com/humrep/article/21/3/579/770117; https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2015/10/30/the-ghostly-explanation-for-how-a-mans-unborn-twin-fathered-his-child/?noredirect=on&utm_term=.7cc56eb2f645

Fetal resorption https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/mesh?Db=mesh&term=Fetal+Resorption

Fetal resorption research https://rbej.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/1477-7827-12-38

Creative Commons Attribution License (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0)

Miscarriage Kits https://heavensgain.org/miscarriage-kits/

Pseudocyesis https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3674939/

Rape and Pregnancy https://pandys.org/articles/rapeandpregnancy.html

Oral Contraceptive Effectiveness https://dailymed.nlm.nih.gov/dailymed/drugInfo.cfm?setid=2524b253-069e-4028-819c-361b888df110

Womb Twins https://miscarriagemomsforlife.com/article-review-womb-twin-survivors/

Twins Interacting https://www.deseretnews.com/article/865641047/Twins-interact-with-each-other-as-early-as-14-weeks-in-the-womb.htmlhttps://www.scientificamerican.com/article/social-before-birth/, https://www.lifesitenews.com/news/study-finds-unborn-twins-interact-with-each-other-as-early-as-14-weeks, https://medicalxpress.com/news/206164323-twin-fetuses-social-womb.html

Babies Learning https://www.babygaga.com/15-things-you-had-no-idea-babies-learn-in-the-womb/,  https://www.babyblankets.com/blog/2015/10/10-things-babies-do-in-the-womb-all-day/https://thestir.cafemom.com/pregnancy/157203/7_amazing_things_babies_dohttps://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/babies-cry-in-the-womb-and-18-other-surprising-facts-i-learned-when-i-became-a-dad-a7315136.html

Bond with Baby https://miscarriagemomsforlife.com/article-review-7-ways-to-bond-with-preborn-baby/

Culture Shift https://cultureshiftforlife.com/

Miscarriage Heart Stories https://miscarriagemomsforlife.com/book-review-miscarriage-women-sharing-from-the-heart/

Grief Observed https://miscarriagemomsforlife.com/book-review-a-grief-observed/

Human Development https://miscarriagemomsforlife.com/book-review-a-child-is-born/http://www.healthofchildren.com/P/Prenatal-Development.html; https://opentextbc.ca/anatomyandphysiology/chapter/28-2-embryonic-development/; https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/pregnancy-week-by-week/in-depth/prenatal-care/art-20045302; https://www.verywellmind.com/stages-of-prenatal-development-2795073; https://www.babycenter.com/fetal-development-week-by-week; https://www.merckmanuals.com/home/women-s-health-issues/normal-pregnancy/stages-of-development-of-the-fetus; https://embryology.med.unsw.edu.au/embryology/index.php/Timeline_human_development; https://transparent-human-embryo.com/

Answering Pain Deniers https://miscarriagemomsforlife.com/article-review-answering-the-pain-deniers/

Silent Scream http://www.silentscream.org/; https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1218041/; https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/politics/1985/02/09/silent-scream-loud-impact/f8db85e8-d804-4b36-882f-4ae06303370b/?utm_term=.bfaaf6af67c2

Experience of Pain https://academic.oup.com/brain/article/135/2/631/261811

First Ache https://miscarriagemomsforlife.com/article-review-the-first-ache/

Consciousness https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17475053

Decorticate Children https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/10400170/

Brains https://onezero.medium.com/the-brain-that-remade-itself-bcc7b3a43cff; https://medium.com/@benbob/how-our-brains-are-not-like-computers-19ad44c7321e; https://medium.com/taking-note/rewire-your-brain-to-beat-procrastination-30b7d172c9d2; https://healthcareinamerica.us/how-i-reorganized-my-brain-6f1681246eb2

Microchimerism https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Microchimerism

Multilineage Potential https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15238593#%202004%20Jul%207;292(1):75-80https://embryo.asu.edu/pages/transfer-fetal-cells-multilineage-potential-maternal-tissue-2004-kiarash-khosrotehrani-et-al

Natural Microchimerism https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2887685/

Longevity of Microchimerism https://www.pnas.org/content/pnas/93/2/705.full.pdf

Microchimerism and Health https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4712643/

Adoptees https://miscarriagemomsforlife.com/article-review-the-three-faces-of-adoptees/

Baby Bonding https://miscarriagemomsforlife.com/article-review-7-ways-to-bond-with-preborn-baby/

Jim Twins Similarities https://allthatsinteresting.com/jim-twins

Womb Twins https://www.wombtwin.com/families/4578330189

Pro-Life and Miscarriage http://thelewisnote.com/why-miscarriage-matters-when-youre-pro-life/

 

Miscarriage / Pregnancy Loss Links – When Unborn Babies Speak

 

Post-Abortion Links – When Unborn Babies Speak

 

Abortion Education/Activism Links – When Unborn Babies Speak

Links – When Unborn Babies Speak

Bibliography and Additional References

AKJV, Creationism  http://creationism.org/BibleAKJV/index.htm

AKJV Study Bible  https://studybible.info/AKJV

ASV, Bible Gateway  https://www.biblegateway.com/versions/American-Standard-Version-ASV-Bible/ 

ASV, Bible Study Tools  https://www.biblestudytools.com/asv/

DT, Darby Translation  https://www.biblegateway.com/versions/Darby-Translation-Bible/

DT, Darby, Retrieved https://www.biblegateway.com/versions/Darby-Translation-Bible/#booklist

KJV, King James Version  https://www.biblegateway.com/versions/King-James-Version-KJV-Bible/#booklist

KJV, with Strongs http://www.godrules.net/library/kjvstrongs/kjvstrongs.htm

NHEB, New Heart English Bible  https://nheb.net/files/NHEB.txt

NHEB, Study https://studybible.info/NHEB

WB, Webster’s Bible  http://bibledatabase.com/exec/online/webster/index.htm

WB, PrayerScapes https://www.prayerscapes.com/Links/free_public_domain_bibles.html

WEB, World English Bible™  https://www.biblegateway.com/versions/World-English-Bible-WEB/#booklist

YLT, Young’s Literal Translation  https://www.biblegateway.com/versions/Youngs-Literal-Translation-YLT-Bible/#booklist

 

Other frequently cited works:

GILL, John Gill’s Exposition of the Old and New Testaments  https://www.biblestudytools.com/commentaries/gills-exposition-of-the-bible/

MATTHEWS, Tiffany, When Unborn Babies Speak, 2019.  Designating Miscarriage Moms For Life as your smile.amazon charity is greatly appreciated. https://smile.amazon.com/When-Unborn-Babies-Speak-Experiencing/dp/1733070001/

 

Personhood Stories

We hope these personhood stories comfort and encourage you that you are not alone, as well as inspire and embolden you to share your story with us.

One mother, early in each of her pregnancies had a dream where she saw a naked baby (for gender ID). The babies born alive to her matched the gender in the dream she had earlier in those pregnancies. So she assumed the gender of the pregnancy-loss baby was the same as revealed to her in the baby dream. No scientific proof—just belief.

Another mother told me she realized her son loved music because every time she listened to music while pregnant with him, she could feel him dancing inside her. And her elementary-aged son does like dancing to music. Experiential proof confirming a prior belief.

Write your child’s story in our book, Other Side Of Grief.

One had written about the determination of her terminally-ill son to keep living long enough to be born alive.

One dreamed about seeing all of her children (living and deceased) in their proper birth order and genders (though some of the lost ones were not scientifically confirmed).

One dreamed that her son introduced himself to her and told her she never got to meet him.

One man testified about seeing a girl who said she was his daughter and offered him forgiveness for him having her aborted…

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One confided hearing her son tell her that he didn’t look like the decaying body she last saw and then seeing a time-lapsed video of his development since his death until what would have been his age at that point.

One occasionally hears “Mommy” and the sound of a girl running around the house.

One occasionally dreams of a girl that is age appropriate for her loss, and she believes it’s her daughter.

One saw her little girl walking towards an angel.

Another also gets visited by an age-appropriate girl in her dreams, and she also occasionally feels her hair get pulled while she drives.

 
Reveal additional stories by clicking on “Continue reading” above.  

One admits to feeling crazy for claiming to know the gender of her son based on a dream where she’s using their chosen boy name (read What to Name Your Child).

One tells of their surviving twin always talking to someone before bedtime, and that twin relaying a dream about the one that didn’t survive (read Womb Twin Survivors).

One dreamed of a relative coming from heaven and taking her baby back up with her on the miscarriage day.

One who complained of cramps during pregnancy was visited by a boy who apologized for the pregnancy cramps and who told her he knew she loved him (read Mysteries, Miracles, and Faith).

One had a vision of Jesus holding her baby.

One claims mother’s intuition in saying she had a girl.

These brave souls admit to an unscientific, unconfirmed knowledge about their children, going beyond grieving the loss of a future with their children. When first running across them, I did not think to take note of their source and do not mean to quote them, so if you recognize your story—please, please submit your story to Miscarriage Moms For Life so that it can be properly heard. Have a similar story? We’d love to include it on our site.

 

 

 

 

 

If these stories helped you, attending our Memorial and reading our books, When Unborn Babies Speak and Other Side Of Grief, may bring you some additional comfort.

 

 

 

 

For those pondering whether you should bother naming the child you lost in pregnancy, Miscarriage Moms For Life heartily recommends, “Absolutely!” For those who have already decided not to bother, we ask you to prayerfully reconsider as you keep reading below.

 

 

 

 

 

Some purposes of names include: 
• Readily identifying us from the crowd. While we may ignore an occasional “Hey, you,” we almost immediately recognize our name and reflexively react to hearing it. 
• Linking us to our reputation, like a brand. When a recognized name is said, others react based on the associations they make with that name. 
• Affirming our place and position in our families. Our children are ours, even though they are not physically with us. 
• Conveying a sense of dignity, respect, and recognition as humans—being made in the image of God (read Our Babies Are Made in the Image of God).

Remember the scene from…

To learn more, read our book, Other Side Of Grief.

You may already be using a nickname for your child, like little bean, blueberry, little angel, or anything else. Great! Continue to say it with all the fondness you wish to convey. But giving your child a proper name denotes a level of seriousness and respect (read What to Name Your Child) that nicknames lack. It may sound like this: “We named our son in heaven David, but I like to call him my monarch butterfly because his first movements were like flutters.”

Read more of The Importance of Naming Your Child...

Naming your child validates their importance to you and their worth and dignity as a fellow human being. Naming your child tells others that this was not a clump of cells or a product of conception or less than human. Naming your child expresses that they were a real human being with a soul, that you love. Some won’t understand this. But name them anyway—for your child and for yourself.

Naming your child signals…

To learn more, read our book, Other Side Of Grief.

Miscarriage Moms For Life emphasizes the importance of naming your child because God made them and loves them. Name your child because you love them and they deserve it.

What to Name Your Child

Whether the decision to name your child was a no-brainer for you or whether it was a difficult decision, Miscarriage Moms For Life both compliments and welcomes you to this discussion. Deciding on a name is a big responsibility. While family names may change due to marriage, most people don’t change their given names, so it’s a lifetime decision.

Don’t stop with a nickname. While this may be tempting, give your child a real name—a “legal” name, even if you cannot register that name with a hospital or human government.

What to Name Your Child

When deciding on a name for your child, consider…

Read our book, Other Side Of Grief, for another helpful tip.

If you’ve already decided on a name for the child of that pregnancy, consider sticking with it. Keeping the same name may signal to others that the child that died is irreplaceable, and you will always love that child. If you are feeling undue pressure to reserve that name for a child you get to interact here on earth longer, then figure out another name that will honor the memory of the child in Heaven (read My Baby is in Heaven).

Read more of What to name your child?...
  Consider naming your child as unique and different from their siblings. Try to avoid names that seem to provoke sibling rivalry. Remember that you hope that their siblings will like to say the name of their brother or sister in heaven.

 

 

 

 

 

Give your child a name that—if given a private internment—you will not regret seeing on their grave marker or tombstone twenty years from now. That is the sobering reality for us. Even if you were not able to provide that, Miscarriage Moms For Life hopes to raise the funds to provide all pregnancy loss children with gravesite recognition (read Why Rocks), so consider choosing a name that will last longer than we will at such a site. Name them with respect, dignity, and love.

This may be a great opportunity to…

Read our book, Other Side Of Grief, for additional information.

Consider giving your child a name with…

Read our book, Other Side Of Grief, for heartening information.

 

Attend a Miscarriage Moms For Life memorial for more on this topic, or read our book, Other Side Of Grief. Find more validation in reading our book, When Unborn Babies Speak.

 

Part of the outreach of Miscarriage Moms For Life hopes to help bring healing to the brokenhearted, comfort to the grieving parents, and restoration to the families of aborted children. In Luke 4:18, Jesus began to quote Isaiah 61, regarding healing heart-break, freeing captives, restoring sight, and forgiving restoration for the crushed. Isaiah 61, verses 2-4 also include comforting the mourners, providing for the grievers (lifting them out of the ashes and out of despair), restoring, and renewing so that the Lord’s splendor (glory) would be clearly seen.

Heal the Brokenhearted

There is no quick-fix to healing the heart-break of child loss. Many times what is said does more harm than good, but prayerfully not on this site. You’ll love and remember your child for the rest of your life. But perhaps with some level of healing, you may find some freedom from getting stuck in the brokenness. You will eventually find the strength to keep going on with life—even when triggers remind you of the heartbreak. Your baby deserves a memorial, a place of internment, as afforded to other humans with remains.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Comfort the Grievers

We are so sorry for your loss. Your baby’s life matters, no matter how short it was.

Find comfort in our books, When Unborn Babies Speak and Other Side Of Grief.

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You are not alone. Sharing your baby’s life with others can help, and Miscarriage Moms For Life wants to be a safe place for you to share all of the things you learned about your child that made him/her unique from others and special to you (read Personhood Stories). Did he have you eating burgers all the time? Did she keep you binging on milkshakes? Did you dream of your child’s gender? Your baby’s life deserves validation and acknowledgment of humanity.

Forgive the Crushed

Whatever your circumstances, you got an abortion. And now you realize the pain it caused. You just can’t seem to break free from the guilt and shame, even if you have repented (read Why is Repentance Necessary). That freedom is through Christ (read Eternity), and Miscarriage Moms For Life would like to extend the forgiveness to you in a tangible way. We want to offer you a place to memorialize your child with a personalized rock at a gravesite. The abortion was horrible, but Christ said “Father, forgive them,” of the ones who killed Him, and He will forgive you, too. Honor your child. Recognize his/her life as valuable. Name your child (read Importance of Naming Your Child). And forgive yourself.

Because humanity is made in the image of God, our lives matter from the point when our DNA was initially formed. When we acknowledge the lives lost and validate the grief of others, we demonstrate the compassion God has for His creation. We bring Him glory and splendor in continuing to minister to others even as Christ did. We help heal the brokenhearted and comfort the grievers. We become His ambassadors—His hands and feet—on the earth pointing to a God that loves us and wants us whole.

Our Memorial and our books, Other Side Of Grief and When Unborn Babies Speak, may bring you some additional comfort.

 

 

The importance of validation.

Miscarriage Moms For Life believes that there are things beyond man’s wisdom. There are things we, as humans, cannot grasp with our intellect. Unfortunately, when we experience these things and try to share them with others, we are often met with unbelief, a cold shoulder, criticism, etc. We do not get validated. The importance of our children to us does not get validated. The importance of validation can be seen by the effects of its absence.

We don’t feel validated when…
• Medical…

Read our book, Other Side Of Grief, for additional information.

• Abortive…

Read our book, Other Side Of Grief, for information on this point.

• We are afraid of being labeled as crazy for sharing the uniqueness of our children. Some of us have learned things about our children (whether through dreams, microchimerism (read Life Affirming Microchimerism), intuition, etc.) that we would love to share (read Personhood Stories). —who doesn’t like to talk about their children? —but we are intimidated into silence by the lack of scientific ways to prove our knowledge.
• We are belittled or demeaned for grieving a child we may have only known about for a few days. That specific child—no matter how long he or she lived, is deeply loved by us and can never be replaced.

Hence, the importance of validation.

 

 

 

 

 

When we are validated...
• Instead of isolation, we feel a sense of acceptance, understanding, and belonging.
• Instead of shame, we feel heard and respected.
• Instead of worthless, we feel valued and loved.
• Instead of fear, we feel like we can trust you with our feelings, our hearts, and our souls.

Suggestions for validating us include…
• Being there for us with a nonjudgmental ear.
• Reflecting our feelings back to us in an understanding way.
• Remembering silence is golden if you are unsure what to say. But a heartfelt “I can’t imagine how you feel” or “My heart goes out to you” or similar helps.
• Genuinely weeping with us in empathy (read Importance of Funeral Rituals).

Grief can be an isolating time, and child loss is painful. Minimizing the significance or reality of our loss, perhaps because we were the only ones who experienced our child’s life, sends us the wrong message. But it helps when we believe that others do care about us and about our children. Validating their lives as important helps us in our grief process and opens up ways for us to grieve and heal in healthier ways.

 

Attend a Miscarriage Moms For Life memorial for more on this topic, or read our book, Other Side Of Grief. Find more validation in reading our book, When Unborn Babies Speak.

 

 

 

One of the purposes of Miscarriage Moms For Life is to (as resources allow) provide memorials (at gravesites, where available) for our children who died during pregnancy and were not buried. But why do we feel that is important anyway when it seems like everyone around us is so dismissive of our losses? Because memorials acknowledge that human lives matter—regardless of how brief they were.

Some points to the Importance of MEMORIAL Rituals

Memorials offer…

To learn more, read our book, Other Side Of Grief.

Memorials remember the deceased.
“It has been said that every life has value and every life makes a contribution to the world. The funeral/memorial service is a testament to that truth. Everyone deserves a funeral because every life is valuable, every life deserves recognition, every life deserves that ‘pause’ in our busy day to celebrate that this person lived and contributed,” Ken Kuratko, Grief Journey Consultants, Riverside, Illinois. Sharing our memories of (and hopes and dreams for) our babies both solidifies within us and testifies to others the value—the love—we have for them.

Memorials point…

Read our book, Other Side Of Grief, for additional information.

Memorials offer closure.
There is a sense of resolution, of finality, in having the deceased remains respectfully handled and laid to rest. Mourners are given the opportunity to (if possible) see the body one last time and say goodbye. There are laws against desecrating human corpses, yet women who suffer miscarriages are often told to just flush the toilet. In our hearts, some of us notice this disparity and we may begin to feel like the rest of the world thinks our babies are disposable trash. . .. Unless our babies are granted the dignity of a funeral. This point hints at Rizpah’s knowing it wasn’t right for her sons not to get buried and her unrest until they were buried.

 

Memorials…

Read our book, Other Side Of Grief, for this exclusive information.

 

Memorial invite others to support us.
“Funerals make a social statement that says, “Come support me.” (read the Importance of Validation) Whether they realize it or not, those who choose not to have a funeral are saying, “Don’t come support me.”… at funerals we are “allowed” to embrace, to touch, to comfort. Again, words are inadequate so we nonverbally demonstrate our support. This physical show of support is one of the most important healing aspects of meaningful funeral ceremonies…. Our physical presence is our most important show of support for the living. By attending the funeral we let everyone else there know that they are not alone in their grief,” Dr. Alan Wolfelt, C.T., centerforloss.com. We are encouraged to “weep with those who weep,” Romans 12:15.

These are just some of the several reasons highlighting the importance of memorial rituals. No matter the age, we love our children, and memorials are a way to express our love and gain comfort in laying them to rest. Even though many of us have been denied the opportunity to bury our children, we believe in the healing value of conducting these rituals symbolically. This is why Miscarriage Moms For Life wants to provide grieving families a way to memorialize their children—whether lost recently or 50 years ago—symbolically with a painted stone (read Why Rocks).

 

 

 

 

 

 

Learn about a few other vital points shared in our book, Other Side Of Grief.

 

Why Another Pro-Life Site?

With all of the pro-life sites and groups—many of which do an outstanding job—why bother adding yet another site to the stack? Those other sites and groups have more experience and continue to be strong, clear voices for the unborn whose lives are threatened by chosen abortion.

So Why Another Pro-Life Site?

A central place for a specific segment of pro-life supporters.
Based on our own experiences, and based on noticing other’s experiences, Miscarriage Moms For Life came about—in part—to provide a platform for sharing stories of families whose pregnancy loss(es) and/or early infant loss(es) impacts their views of elective abortion. Some of us have claimed to be pro-life, but really weren’t active in speaking out against abortions, until our baby died. Experiencing our baby as so very human (read Personhood Stories) causes us to speak up and speak on behalf of the babies whose lives are at risk of elective abortions.

 

 

 

 

 

A perspective that needs to be shared.

To learn more, read our books, When Unborn Babies Speak and Other Side Of Grief.

One of the pro-life arguments involves asserting the personhood of babies from the point of conception. But what gives life to those assertions? Is it not in voicing our experiences with our own babies? (Volunteer Your Story) Those of us who have seen those tiny hands with tiny fingers, those feet, those perfectly-formed bodies—human bodies. Those of us who have experienced

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the personalities of our babies—their human personalities. These experiences flesh out the reality that our babies are human persons from the point of conception.

A bridge to cross the mixed messages.
Miscarriage matters—just as much as abortion. Those of us who have suffered pregnancy- or early infant losses very painfully know the value and importance of our babies. Hearing platitudes or excuses or having our losses minimized by some in the same community who bemoans the possibility of a willfully aborted baby being the one to find a cure for cancer is a mixed message in which we hope to educate and eventually eradicate.

Miscarriage Moms For Life welcomes all pro-life voices. So why another pro-life site? Our emphasis is on the ones who can provide experiential testimony of the personhood of our human babies no matter their developmental stage or viability.

Likewise, Miscarriage Moms For Life welcomes all who have suffered pregnancy losses (miscarriages, stillbirths, etc.) and/or early infant losses. We are so sorry for your loss(es). Yet our sharing focus will be on the bereaved parents who are brave enough to testify to the (external and/or internal) humanity of their babies and on those who chose life (did not abort their “doomed” child or kept their “handicapped” child).

Miscarriage Moms For Life also realizes there are plenty of abortion survivors (women, men, family members, and a few babies) who now realize the horrors of the death sentence they had carried out on those babies. Nothing can bring back the child that was killed, but it’s not too late to honor your child and find freedom, restoration, and peace (read Why is Repentance Necessary) for yourself.

 

Related and expanded information may be found in our books, Other Side Of Grief and When Unborn Babies Speak, sold in print or ebook on Amazon and Amazon Smile. Please consider designating Miscarriage Moms For Life as the charity to receive funds from Amazon with each purchase made through Amazon Smile.

 

Our babies are made in the image of God.

There are clear passages in scripture indicating that we, as humans, are made in the image of God. Because of the fall of man into a sinful state, we struggle (some more than others) to live our daily lives as God’s image and likeness bearers. Yet, we are still made in God’s image.

Genesis 1:26a, 27 “And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. . .. So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created He him; male and female created He them.”

I Cor 11:7 “. . .man is the image and glory of God. . .”

The danger:

Psalm 106:20 “They exchanged the glory of God for the image of an ox that eats grass” [Hebrew-“exchanged their glory”]

Exchanging their glory resulted from worshipping idols that were shaped like an ox. Any time we worship something other than God, we are exchanging our glory for that thing. Though likely not an ox, it might be an ipad, a paycheck, a house, or any number of things.

 

 

 

 

 

Peeking into the future.

All the earth

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shall be filled with the glory of God. Part of the glory of God is in His working in wonderous ways that baffle man’s conventional wisdom.

Isaiah 28:21a, c “For the LORD shall rise up. . .that he may do his work, his strange work; and bring to pass his act, his strange act.”

Isaiah 29:14 “Therefore, behold, I will proceed to do a marvelous work among this people, even a marvelous work and a wonder: for the wisdom of their wise men shall perish, and the understanding of their prudent men shall be hid.”

This is one reason why belief

…is important: the mysteries and miracles require an element of faith. (Read further about Mysteries, Miracles, and Faith.)

Another part of the glory of God is valuing life.

Our babies are made in the image of God.

Because we are made in the image of God, our offspring—our babies—are also made in the image of God.

Before we were formed, God knew us. God knit us [our parents’ half DNA’s to make our new strand of DNA] together.

Consider how wonderfully your child was made in our book,Other Side Of Grief.

The danger:

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Destroying those made in the image of God does NOT glorify God.

Isaiah 27:11b “…for it is a people of no understanding: therefore he that made them will not have mercy on them, and he that formed them will shew them no favour.”

Isaiah 29: 16 “Surely your turning of things upside down shall be esteemed as the potter’s clay: for shall the work say of him that made it, He made me not? Or shall the thing framed say of him that framed it, He had no understanding?”

We not only destroy babies—God’s image bearers—with the atrocity of abortion. We also dishonor God’s image bearers—our babies—when we

…minimize pregnancy losses and view them as anything less than our children. (Read more in The Importance of Validation.) Whether intentional or natural, baby loss deprives our world of others made in the image of God.

Learn additional concepts about the image of God in our book, When Unborn Babies Speak, found in print or ebook on Amazon or Amazon Smile.

Find additional comfort in reading our book,Other Side Of Grief.

Please consider designating Miscarriage Moms For Life as the charity to receive funds from Amazon with each purchase made through Amazon Smile.

 

Why Rocks?

At the memorials from Miscarriage Moms For Life (read the Importance of Funeral Rituals), we use rocks to represent our babies whom we lost during our pregnancies. Rocks are plain and basic. Don’t our babies deserve something fancier? Something a little more aesthetically appealing? Sure, but there is a special significance to using rocks.

So Why Rocks?

Scripture says from dust we were made and to dust we will return. Dust could be challenging to personalize, and we can’t have that. But rocks are also earthy, and using rocks to symbolize our children does not have to be considered demeaning.  So why rocks?

Let's take a brief look at...
what scripture says about rocks:

Psalm 18:2- The LORD is my Rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my Rock, in Whom I take refuge, my Shield and the Horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

Psalm 71:3- Be my Rock of refuge, to which I can always go; give the command to save me, for you are my Rock and my fortress…Be my Rock of safety where I can always hide.

I Corinthians 10:4- And drank the same spiritual drink; for they drank from the spiritual Rock that accompanied them, and that Rock was Christ.

 

 

 

 

 

II Samuel 22:47- The LORD lives! Praise be to my Rock! Exalted be my God, the Rock, my Savior! . . . Praise to my Rock! May God, the Rock of my salvation be exalted….

Those are examples of our Lord God being our Rock spiritually.

But what about us…

Read our book, Other Side Of Grief, for further information.

 

 

 

 

 

…But at least now we have something tangible, something to represent our babies whom not only died but whose bodies we were not able to properly commit in a memorial service. And now we can hold their memorial service and symbolically commit them at an official memorial (or gravesite, where available).  [But don’t worry–it’s symbolic, so you can keep the rock you worked so hard to personalize.]  May this act help bring peace and comfort to your hearts.
 

Attend a Miscarriage Moms For Life memorial to memorialize your baby. Read our book, Other Side Of Grief. Find more comfort and healing in reading our book, When Unborn Babies Speak.

 

Because of the bold fetal personhood testimonies here on Miscarriage Moms For Life (MMFL) that some pro-life groups prefer to ignore, we discovered research involving fetomaternal cell transference, or microchimerism (read Life-affirming Microchimerism), in the hopes of normalizing our testimonies. MMFL requests testimonies that highlight gestational babies as more personable—more human—believing these testimonies make it more difficult to continue justifying their murder. Notwithstanding, these bold fetal personhood testimonies raise intellectual doubts which the quotes on microchimerism below may address.

Stories of Fetomaternal Cell Transference

From Children’s cells live on in mothers:

“Way back when you and your mom shared a body, your cells mingled. Her cells slipped into your body and your cells circled back into her. This process, called fetal-maternal microchimerism, turns both mother and child into chimeras harboring little pieces of each other. . .. Microchimerism also has implications here for women who have lost pregnancies (read Personhood Stories), an extremely common situation hidden by the taboo of talking about miscarriages. Fetal cells seem to migrate early in pregnancy, meaning that even brief pregnancies may leave a cellular mark on a woman.”

For more on this topic, read our book, When Unborn Babies Speak. Find additional comfort in reading our book, Other Side Of Grief.

 

 

 

 

 

From The influence of fetal loss on the presence of fetal cell microchimerism: A systematic review:

“Given the increased cellular transfer from fetus to mother after terminations of pregnancy . . . and the presence of fetal hematopoietic progenitor cells among the transferred cells . . ., we speculate that a fetal loss

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may allow a higher number of fetal progenitor cells to enter the maternal circulation, and may therefore be more likely to induce long‐term engraftment. In addition, fetal progenitor cells transferred during a fetal loss are at an earlier gestational age and at an earlier stage of development than those that would enter the maternal circulation at delivery.”

From Transfer of Fetal Cells with Multilineage Potential to Maternal Tissue:

“Fetal cells are present in the maternal blood stream after any length of gestation, meaning that even if a fetus is aborted, fetal cells will still be in a woman’s bloodstream. . .. Although fetal cells are transferred to women during pregnancy, the number of cells transferred varies. . .. In the eleven control samples, with no histories of male pregnancy, the team found no male cells.”

Microchimerism or the fetomaternal cell transference may be the scientific explanation for how some mothers can make personhood claims about their gestational children here on MMFL. But whether something can be scientifically proven is not the basis for its truth. The earth was round thousands of years before science was finally able to prove it, so science did not “make” the earth round, and likely many people died believing the truth the earth is round even though they had no proof and while others were claiming the earth is flat. (See Mysteries Miracles and Faith.) But for the doubters (like me before my experience), microchimerism is presented as just one possible explanation for our experiential truth.

For more on microchimerism and pregnancy, please consider reading our book, When Unborn Babies Speak. Read our book, Other Side Of Grief, to find comfort in your grief journey.

 

 

 

Life-affirming Microchimerism

I have things that God has shown me that I can’t explain. They’re from God. They’d line up with scripture. God is the giver of life. They’re very life affirming from the beginning. And I can’t explain them with scientific proof to my knowledge.

But there’s microchimerism, a feto-maternal cell transfer (read more in Fetomaternal Cell Transference), of some sort that takes place shortly after the new DNA is formed. It takes place and like an elite squad—think navy seals, delta force, or big guns—some cells cross into the mother’s blood system.

 

 

 

 

 

Inside the mother’s blood system, they travel to the mother’s brain. They access their mother’s—their host’s—brain. They check it out. Brain to brain communication because the control panel of the baby starts to form almost instantly. Why not? It kinda makes sense. If the DNA are the blueprints, a central command unit is a logical place to start so that those blueprints can be carried out.

Anyway, the control panel, the brain of the baby communicates with the brain of the mother, and the brain of the baby is…

Read more about microchimerism in When Unborn Babies Speak. Explore how this helps to justify the grief over your pregnancy loss in Other Side Of Grief.

…need to know?

 

And I think at that point the mother that’s tuned in to her body becomes aware that something’s different. The mother that’s tuned into her body starts developing that maternal instinct. (Read examples in Personhood Stories.) But anyway, some of these are just thoughts, and science is only partially available for confirmation.

 

Fetal cells do…

Read more on this subject in When Unborn Babies Speak.

…confirm in our lifetimes. Yet this life-affirming microchimerism provides an interesting theory as to what I experienced.

This article is more fully developed in our book, When Unborn Babies Speak. To find out more, look for the book in print or ebook on Amazon or Amazon Smile, where you may designate Miscarriage Moms For Life as the charity to receive funds from Amazon with each purchase.

Find ways to deal with your grief in our book, Other Side Of Grief.

 

When thinking about our children we miss, many of us occasionally wonder about dating their lives. Many of us celebrate (or at least note) our birthdays, and the birthdays of others. But how should we decide on a day to remember (read The Importance of Validation) our miscarried children?

Dating Suggestions

Conception date
This could be a positive reminder of their creation—their life. But it can be rather difficult to determine, especially in a healthy marriage. If it is easy to determine (for example, conceived from rape), using this date might create an internal conflict between remembering your child and remembering what was done to you.

Death date
The death date, or “angelversary” would be either the date you learned you child had already died or the date you know your child died. Many gravesites mark a death date, so this can be to put on their rock (read Why Rocks).

Passing date
This would be the date their miscarried body passed from their Mother’s body. Sometimes we learn that our children have died but we are still carrying them (sometimes for a few weeks). In this case, it might be easier to determine a passing date, and perhaps note that.

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Birth date
This would be the date an older child was stillborn or the date a child was born live but did not live long after birth. Given the size difference and likelihood that others are assisting, this may be one of the easiest dates to pin down.

Due date
Whether you were able to calculate this for yourself or you had a professional tell you, the due date was something you once looked forward to. This could both be a reminder of the life you expected with them and a reminder that those plans are forever altered.

Do you have any definitive date at all? While not necessary, Miscarriage Moms For Life recommends using at least one of these dating suggestions in association with your child. Do you have more than one definitive date? Then when you are ready, consider which date you feel most comfortable with using, as this is a personal decision. If you wish, there is nothing wrong with remembering all of the dates you have. (Putting them all on the stone might make it appear crowded).

 

 

 

 

 

If your loss was very early and/or very messy/extended, you may not have any definitive date. This can be difficult if viewed as being unable to recognize your child. We encourage you to consider picking a date anyway. October 15 is Pregnancy and Infant Loss awareness day, so you may wish to choose that date. Though a moving target, Mother’s Day is an option, because your child—no matter how early they left you—made you a mother.

Whatever date/dates you choose, let your choice come from your heart. This is, after all, your child—your irreplaceable, unique, precious, one-of-a-kind child. A child that is made in the image of God (read Our Babies Are Made in the Image of God) and deeply loved by you, your understanding and compassionate family members, and God.

 

This article is recommended reading before attending our Memorial. Find more comfort in reading our books, Other Side Of Grief and When Unborn Babies Speak.

 

Why is Repentance Necessary?

In the post, Heal the Brokenhearted and Comfort Their Grief, Miscarriage Moms For Life offers to memorialize aborted babies for mothers (or other family). Some may question why would we open this up to those involved in abortion.  This is an act of compassion.  Compassion facilitates healing whereas condemnation does not.  This post is NOT meant to condemn or judge.

To learn more about the difference between conviction and condemnation, read our book, Other Side Of Grief.

It can be easy for us who so desperately wanted our babies to live on earth with us to struggle with feeling compassion towards those who aborted their child(ren). We who mourn our dead child(ren) often find the act of abortion heinous for many of us see it as the murder of children (though it is not P.C. to admit this, we do so as part of our religious beliefs and/or deeply held maternal convictions). We may not realize that some women are pressured into having abortions without wanting to abort while other women may not understand what they are doing until it is too late.

While our views that abortion is murder remain intact, we, as Christians, make the distinction between the act of sin and the one committing the sin and can extend compassion towards ones who commit sin without condoning the sin. But for us to do that without falling into the trap of enabling the sin, repentance is necessary. [Repentance may look different for those who were coerced or deceived into aborting compared to those who willing sought it out.] Repentance is a turning away from the act of sin so that the repentant person no longer agrees with nor commits the sin. Repentance removes enablement and offers a better way of living.  Each of us–whether we have had an abortion or not–need to repent. (Read more on repentance.)

Why is Repentance Necessary?

Repentance is not easy nor comfortable, but repentance is necessary and important.

Read more in our book, Other Side Of Grief.

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Part of John the baptizer’s exhortation included for us to “Bring forth therefore fruits worthy of repentance,” (Luke 3:8a) “for the remission of sins,” (Luke 3:3b). Likewise, this exhortation was echoed when “From that time Jesus began to preach, and to say, ‘Repent: for the kingdom of heaven is at hand,’” (Matthew 3:17). That Jesus also spoke of the necessity of repentance further emphasizes its importance in each of our lives.

 

 

 

 

 

Luke wrote that repentance and remission of sins work together. Jesus told His disciples, “Whose soever sins ye remit, they are remitted unto them; and whose soever sins ye retain, they are retained,” (John 20:23). It is easier to remit the sin of abortion when there are clear signs (fruits worthy) of repentance from those involved in aborting their child(ren).

We will still offer to memorialize aborted babies. God is good to all and sends rain on the repentant and on the unrepentant. We want to reflect His goodness in the hopes that those involved in the abortion may (if not already) repent and find healing and wholeness through Christ.

There are clear benefits of repentance that extends past acceptance by the general pregnancy loss community.  Why is repentance necessary?  Repentance helps restore relationships. It is an act of reconciliation. We do not want you to remain isolated, broken, hurting, and condemned. We want you to accept and receive healing, wholeness, peace, freedom, reconciliation, and restoration. It is possible through Christ and the love He gives us to love others.

 

Attend our memorial to honor your baby. Find more hope and healing in reading our books, When Unborn Babies Speak and Other Side Of Grief.

  

 

 

Involuntary Organ and Tissue Donors

News media reports on stem cell research. Scientists think the stem cells can do all sorts of healing, repairing, and restoring. Some of the stem cells being used for research are being harvested from fetal tissues. Should this be a concern?

 

 

 

 

 

The fetal tissues are no longer useful to the dead fetuses. Thousands of fetuses have been getting slaughtered, so there can be a large supply of tissue from which to experiment. And it can provide additional streams of revenue to the ones supplying the tissue.

Now I can point out this one thing. We have to volunteer to be donors. We can sign up to be an organ donor. But we have to sign up. An emblem gets put on our driver’s license when we sign up. There are blood drives where we may donate our blood. But the drives are offered as a voluntary thing. The government hasn’t mandated people donate organs or blood. We may voluntarily donate of our bodies when we are old enough to be considered as having that authority to do so. Maybe parents can sign off on their children, their minors, doing that.

Involuntary Organ and Tissue Donors

But where are the rights of Continue reading...

the preborn who are subjected to this? Those whose fetal cells are being experimented on? Not every body that dies is automatically donated to medical science. I think that’s a proactive choice. People have to sign up to be donated to medical science, to have their bodies donated to medical science.

So those babies didn’t have a chance to sign up to have their bodies donated for medical science. But that’s what’s being done. They’re not being respected. They have rights from the God who formed them. (Read Our Babies Are Made in the Image of God.) Their personhood is not being respected. Why is that [along with abortion] not yet considered to be unconstitutional and outlawed?

Maybe their mothers signed off, as the adult over the minor, on their bodies being used for medical science. Did the mothers knowingly sign off on the tissue harvesting? Or was the fact that the child’s tissues would be harvested concealed in the fine print that few people would bother to read and fewer would likely understand? Were those mothers compensated, or were just the clinics that killed the children compensated for the fetal tissues? What kind of moral ramifications are raised when compensation is brought into the equation? Would women get pregnant just to sell their baby’s body parts to medical science?

Again, all of this completely ignores that the baby is a unique person with their own thoughts, desires, and feelings about this subject (Read Personhood Stories), and who would—if we were to understand—be protesting their sacrifice for the sake of science. Might there be benefits to adults in researching stem cells? Yes. But our rights end where another’s rights begin. And our right to improve our health through stem cell research ends where the fetus’ right to life begins (which is at the point of conception).

 

 

 

Mysteries, Miracles, and Faith

Mysteries, Miracles, and Faith


Our culture thrives on knowledge. So much so that we have become uncomfortable with not knowing. A ton of information (and some misinformation) is available on the internet, newspapers, television, radio, libraries, etc. The United States has a public education system and truancy laws designed so that every child, up to a certain age, has access to an education.

To learn more about grieving your pregnancy loss, read our book, Other Side Of Grief.

What about mysteries?
We don’t like them. Remember the Scooby-Doo cartoons where the gang unravels yet another mystery by finally catching up with the “ghost” and unmasking him to discover the bad guy. Most tv programs resolve situations in less than an hour. Maybe because it just bothers our minds to have loose ends.

And how about miracles?
We discount them. Who sees…

Read more about the subject of miracles in When Unborn Babies Speak.

…did it?

Why do we need faith?
What is it about us that demands we know everything about everything—or at least about the things that we care about? Does not knowing make things less true? We have made great strides in knowledge. We can now prove that…

Read more about the importance of faith in When Unborn Babies Speak.

…about mysteries, miracles, and faith? It’s simple. Some of the stories you will find on our site are mysteries ( read Personhood Stories). Some are outright miracles (read Isaac’s Personhood Story). They may currently lack scientific, medical validation. But that does not mean they are not true. That does not mean they did not happen. On the…

Read more on this subject in When Unborn Babies Speak.

…from God.

This article is more fully developed in our book, When Unborn Babies Speak. Don’t miss out on the significant principles discussed in this book. Look for it in print or ebook on Amazon or Amazon Smile today, where you may designate Miscarriage Moms For Life as the charity to receive funds from Amazon with each purchase.

Find additional comfort in reading our book, Other Side Of Grief.